Romans 12

Romans 12 is now my favorite chapter of the Bible. God's words pierce into the very heart of what I struggle with-finding joy in Christ. Not just the preservation of personal happiness, but the joy rooted in hope

Romans 12
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

I could go on, but these first four verses just blew me away with the conviction that I have been slowly descending into the depths of conformation with the world. It may seem akin to peer pressure or dismissed as a hackneyed phrase, but it is quite possible to be absorbed into the feel0good, self-satisfying, and self-preserving mentality that pervades the world. One thing that struck me during the CGIU conference this past weekend was the waning of my passion. One or two months before I would be absolutely ecstatic and enthusiastic about the ways God is using me in the volunteer and fellowship activities. I would not be able to contain my passion. Now, I find myself saying things without conviction-rather, my words carry across a hint of arrogance and pride. I find the loathsome reality that my passion is being swallowed by the world's applause and recognition. We're the ones who are going to "change the world," to use our efforts for the "good of humankind," the "noble" ones who forsake our own lives for the embetterment of others, etcetera etcetera et...what?
What is the true goal of this? Is it to pat each other on the back for our "outstanding" achievement? Is it to impress everyone we meet with our "selflessness"? Or is it the ultimate gesture of selfishness-that we would parade our efforts and our so-called "passions" before the world so that we would receive more credit, honor, and glory?
Of course it depends from person to person, and I can almost envision someone's arguing voice saying "You can't generalize that!" But I have to look into these acts and go to the heart motive: if you are not Christian, what is the end goal? It is quite evident that it is the self-satisfaction that you have made a difference in others' lives. There's nothing wrong with that. But what happens when you fail? What happens when the success stories don't come your way?
Then you have nothing.
You didn't make a difference.
What then?
You were ineffective.
What then?

For the Christian, it is: praise God, for even if I see nothing-I persevere for His sake. Even if I die before I see anything, it is for His sake. His will and eternal glory never fades, even when my efforts fail and my life is drained of its energy.