I got a bit disgusted with blogging after recounting everything I´ve been ¨doing.¨ So instead of having a list of activities and experiences, I´ve vowed to stick to what´s meaningful to me.
So, four and a half weeks have passed since I´ve come to Perú. What used to be exciting and new has now dulled into a routine...but this new sense of normalcy comes with its own jilts of heartwrenching separations and heartwarming rewards. The clinic where I work in, el Centro de Salud en Independencia, has become a home for me. From the nurses Isabela, Rhut, and Miriam to the doctors Darwin, Luis, and...I forget her name...I´ve really been able to immerse myself in their world and become (basically) a staff member at the clinic. I´m now quite used to babies and toddlers, and (unfortunately) well-acquainted with the arcane and confusing system of medical records that the nurses have to maintain to report to the ministry of health. These are basically notebooks, regular notebooks, with about twenty columns that have to be drawn EVERY SINGLE TIME A PAGE IS TURNED. So many columns that it´s so, so easy to make a mistake and subsequently 1) lose data and 2) confuse all the rest of the columns because you´re lacking one or have an extra. However, my frustration has borne fruit-my mini-project is to create a database program to ENSURE that NO information is lost between the lines. I´ve really seen God´s hand in this, because one week ago my usual Spanish tutor Reiner (who is amazing and a huge comfort because we talk openly about spiritual things and he shares so much with me) had to go to Urubamba on urgent personal business, and I was switched to a Cuban named Alexis. While we were talking during the third lesson, I discovered that he was a specialist in Sistemas Informáticas!!!! Basically, he does databases for a living. So, we´ve been working together and I really, really hope that we can get something awesome out ASAP.
One thing I´ve learned though is that everything, really everything, is based on relationships. If I am faithful in seeing him as a person, in appreciating him as God´s child, in loving him as a follower of Christ-it automatically builds a very strong relationship simply because, in human terms, I am a very good friend. However, if I cultivate a relationship with the aim of using him as a tool and a means to an end, my deception will be shown for what it is, and I will completely alienate him.
Come to think of it, relationships are what have caused some of the heartwrenching moments on this trip. First, I praise God for the beauty and strength of Christian fellowship while here in Perú. From the very beginning, God encouraged me by having a first contact with John Marshall, who was my original roommate and a strong follower of Christ (it made us both happy when we were friends on Facebook to see ¨God¨ as the foremost of our interests). Then, I met Trey and Tram, two really awesome guys (incidentally also from Georgia) who were in the clinical internships and loved listening to sermons. Which we then did together with John at their house on Sunday evening. THEN, I meet Reiner, my Spanish tutor, who happens to have an amazing testimony about how Christ saved him from alcoholism and despair at the age of eighteen, and who is passionate about serving Him here in Perú. The blessings of God are even greater than I could ever have expected-I met Sarah, a married ex-teacher who has an amazing dream of opening import stores tied to refugee camps, where they could be taught to make crafts that could be sold to provide them the necessities and income that they desperately need who, incidentally, loves Jesus Christ and house churches. Kenneth and Karen, two Singaporeans government-bonded studying at Princeton, who love God as well and were invaluable supports to me (almost like my brother and sister here in Perú). I was able to go on wonderful excursions with Karen, Kenneth, and Sarah to Quillabamba-Santa Teresa-Aguas Termales and Machu Picchu-Aguas Calientes-Putu Cusi (latter minus Sarah). When Trey and Tram first left, that was the first jolt that made me realize-this sense of normalcy is quickly ending. When Kenneth and Karen left, THAT made me reflect the rest of the day on how much I had grown to care for them and draw support from their friendships. Now, as I look forward to the one and a half weeks left, I find myself withdrawing from Matt, my host brother, because I fear the imminent separation and do not want a more painful severance. It sounds cheesy, but I know that for me there is no greater hurt than parting from people that you´ve grown to love. Yet, at the same time, I am continually convicted of my need to love God first before loving people. Matthew 21:37-40
Jesus replied, ¨Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, ´Love your neighbor as yourself.´All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.
I have committed the grievous error of loving people, my neighbors, more than the Lord my God-that´s the root of my destructive reaction of drawing away from people. If I loved God, then I would be satisfied and always have love to spare for others. However, my love for others and the consequences of focusing on that love amplifies the hurt of separation so much that I go the opposite direction: instead of cherishing the relationships I have now, I reject contact and distance myself. Sometimes, I become a syncophant, an echo of compliments and empty words; other times, I am proud, aloof, waiting for others to come to me. In any case, I am an empty shell, devoid of meaning and love because I lack a passion and love for God.
