Today, I watched Love Actually (censored, without that explicit story) and Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs.
As I watched the first movie, I was struck by the nature of the relationships-a glance, a touch, a look-and it's over. It's love at first/second/third sight. Yet the underlying premise, the basis, is physical attraction. THAT is what constitutes that "fall in love" part (actually, it is nearly the whole), and the only story that showed a woman sacrificing that physical intimacy for her mentally unstable brother is portrayed as a noble, but infinitely sad and dismal existence compared to the exuberant happiness when that fleeting desire is consummated-and, what is more, celebrated!
And I was confused. In part because I now have a partial understanding of what love is, I could not help but scoff at the notion that relationships are based on such flimsy footing (and roll my eyes when surprise, surprise! they fall apart just as readily).
I brought up this feeling in casual conversation with Jasper, and his reply was-"what do you expect?" What DID I expect?
Did I expect that the world would know anything else but a sweet story of confused individuals mistaking coincidence and lustful glances for lifelong companionship? Did I expect that two friends (in the movie) would realize their deep bond (love?) for one another and feel fulfilled by getting wasted and watching X-rated films together and consider that an 'ultimate' bond of affection?
And I was reminded of the depth of Christ's love, the breadth of true love.
I've been going through Romans, and Romans 8 particularly took my breath away.
First, justification. How did God justify us, how did He deal with the formidable spectre of the law, and the sin that chains us to the hopelessness of condemnation? vs. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the sinful nature, GOD DID by sending His own Son in the likeness of humanity to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in human flesh...
So that was the price. And Paul goes on to paint a beautiful picture of our struggle against the flesh, against the sinful mind and its sinful desires that coexist with the Spirit within us-but we indeed have victory, for we are the children of God through the Holy Spirit we received!
Such suffering! Although we are justified according to the law, though we are adopted into God's family, though we have the Spirit of God-I still suffer so much from the weakness of indulging in my sinful nature. Surely that is where insecurity prowls, in the hearts of those that are controlled by their sinful desires! When I feel so alone, such longing that fills my heart to have fulfillment-and when I am seduced by the thought of going against what I know is the right attitude and approach to be wildly impractical and "romantic"-I am seduced by my sinful nature. Truly verse 6 speaks-The mind controlled by the sinful nature is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.
Yet this struggle is not the end-oh, praise GOD that this struggle is not the entirety of a poor Christian's existence! NO, there is glory. There is hope. There are all of the intangible but wonderful, glorious gifts that God bestows upon His people!
vs. 18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
vs. 24-25 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
Most of all, we have the promise and the love of God.
We have this awesome promise in Romans 8:28 (one of my life verses) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.
But, more overwhelmingly, we have the love. of. Christ.
We have this divine, unchanging, true love. vs. 35a Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Here I ask, who? Who? Is there any person who can tear us away from Christ's love? Is there any man or woman alive who can claim that they stole Christ's love away from a soul? I'm sure there are those that claim they have, and perhaps they have ensnared some temporarily-but I am continuously reminded that even when we humans are unfaithful, GOD IS FAITHFUL, for He CANNOT DENY HIMSELF. He faithfully loves even when we reject Him for other lovers, and even when we come back beaten, bruised, broken. No soul can ever separate us from the love of Christ. That is...glorious. absolutely glorious.
vs. 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
vs. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor ANYTHING ELSE IN ALL CREATION will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Divine love is so absolutely glorious. I cannot find any other adjective in my (rapidly diminishing) English arsenal to describe it, for glory to me captures the highest possible state that God could ever bestow upon His people. Imagine, to be in the presence of the glory of God!
Yet as I ponder divine love, its indestructible nature, its undying connection-I realize in my heart that there is a divine purpose intimately intertwined with this divine love. I realize that Christ's love, yes, it is a beautiful and wonderful promise that is secured for me, for Christians-but it is also a fact for the world. Previously I had been girding myself to go into medical school and to pour myself into becoming the best at my calling (medicine)-but with the view that my classmates are (friendly) rivals, the view that my classmates are ones who I must keep at a distance in order to succeed in my goal.
Yet in light of this divine love, Christ speaks gently but firmly: Dennis, what is my purpose for you? In the words of another medical student friend who I met recently (paraphrased) Christ/Christianity gives me a clear and wonderful purpose that gets me up in the morning every day. Without that I'm not sure I CAN get up!
At the time I wanted to test and ask-so what purpose is that, specifically? Yet I myself had no clear answer other than a vague assent towards 'glorifying God.'
Divine love means that I live for the purpose of connecting lost and lonely souls with the embodiment of that perfect, holy love. Yes, I am to work towards becoming the best at my calling, but more importantly I must approach it with the overriding desire to see my classmates know and experience divine love.
While my inexperience with love has caused my heart to go in all sorts of directions, in Christ's love I find the shelter and security that I need. My heart is still, my soul calm-for my desires have been laid at the feet of a God who loves me with an invincible love.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
A bit of home
Yesterday I took the high-speed rail down to Tainan to visit one of my best friends. I came in with expectations to do what I do best: eat. My aunt had taken great pains to let me know just how good the food is in Tainan, how she wanted to retire there when she got old enough, etcetc.
However, I was looking forward to finally being with a fellow brother and good friend for some time! No worries about tiptoeing around topics of conversation, no "filters" to put up, just some plain old fashioned hanging out. And so we did a mixture of the two-eat, hang out. And I thoroughly enjoyed the ease with which I can live-even as a guest in a family that is not quite typical. I was so relieved to wake up without any alarms this morning (after a night of rather vivid dreams), to spend time lounging around, talking to our dear friend Philip via Skype for...2 hours, singing/playing worship songs, sharing thoughts and reflections, and leisurely doing some household chores (aka moving in and setting up a big-screen TV). It was a refreshing return to the responsibilities and activities of normal everyday life. I do understand the irony that I would trade the absolute leisure and concerns of a vacation for the burdens of daily life, but it was rather refreshing.
Then a very nice dinner at a five star hotel, and watching a World Cup match to round off the day. I couldn't have felt more comfortable, and in entering a house where bible verses are hung on the wall, wooden crosses lounge in the corners, and a bible lies prominently on the living room table-my heart is filled with joy and peace.
I am reminded of John Stott's prayer: In a world that is hungry, I thank God for good food. In a world that is lonely, I thank God for good friends. In a world that is growing ever darker, I thank God for the light of Christ.
However, I was looking forward to finally being with a fellow brother and good friend for some time! No worries about tiptoeing around topics of conversation, no "filters" to put up, just some plain old fashioned hanging out. And so we did a mixture of the two-eat, hang out. And I thoroughly enjoyed the ease with which I can live-even as a guest in a family that is not quite typical. I was so relieved to wake up without any alarms this morning (after a night of rather vivid dreams), to spend time lounging around, talking to our dear friend Philip via Skype for...2 hours, singing/playing worship songs, sharing thoughts and reflections, and leisurely doing some household chores (aka moving in and setting up a big-screen TV). It was a refreshing return to the responsibilities and activities of normal everyday life. I do understand the irony that I would trade the absolute leisure and concerns of a vacation for the burdens of daily life, but it was rather refreshing.
Then a very nice dinner at a five star hotel, and watching a World Cup match to round off the day. I couldn't have felt more comfortable, and in entering a house where bible verses are hung on the wall, wooden crosses lounge in the corners, and a bible lies prominently on the living room table-my heart is filled with joy and peace.
I am reminded of John Stott's prayer: In a world that is hungry, I thank God for good food. In a world that is lonely, I thank God for good friends. In a world that is growing ever darker, I thank God for the light of Christ.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
The Loneliness Sickness
I had an amazing tour of Singapore today-culinarily exquisite, the food cannot be beaten on three counts: 1)quality 2)availability 3)price. I have had so many different tastes today my tongue can't clearly distinguish taste as easily...what a taste-bud-workout! We were able to look at so many different places, it seemed as if we had completely covered the island city nation in just one day! From the touristy island Sentosa with the cheesy and overplayed Merlion exhibit (I almost went as far as to accuse it of idolatry) with the imitation "Under the Sea" lyrics...I shouldn't bash it so much, but come to think of it the statue and "myths" were rather disturbing at best. At least we got a free fan out of it-a very useful tool for the rest of the day :)
Then we went to the southernmost tip of continental Asia, beautifully built with two platforms, connected by a very islandy bridge made of hemp and chains. Ingenious design to make you feel as if you're in a tropical paradise with all the conveniences and security of modern design and materials. Ingenious. So careful with their planning. At the top was a breathtaking view of a (blue!) sky, could see green Indonesia and an expanse of azure waters, with a cool breeze and shaded view. Awesome experience.
Then we went to go shopping at a lot of malls and department stores, where I found a very good fitting (and good looking) dress shirt, and realized that I had been ripped off in Shanghai for 3 dress shirts. I wince at the thought-that the reason it can't be sold easily is because of the SLEEVE LENGTHS that I didn't check, that I didn't try on...I was utterly scammed by that lady. I need to check for sure once I go back, but I don't have high hopes.
Throughout the entire time we ate/snacked/talked our way around. Amiable companionship sprinkled with meaningful conversation and spiritual brotherhood make for a very volatile and endearing mix. Add delicious, abundant, cheap food into the mix and you've got dynamite.
We then went to JX's uncle's house, where they had a family gathering/dinner to celebrate father's day (oops). I do hope my father doesn't mind that I didn't do anything this year. Delicious home-cooked food, so much better than I could ever get anywhere in Singapore. Good time of listening and learning from the older, wiser generation and learning a lot of life lessons:
1) find your passion
2) business is about serving people, making life better for them-not $
3) business and success are not meant to be the primary priorities in life
4) our current comfort is at the expense of our fathers' and grandfathers' consumption of bitterness and hardship
Went on a tour of the Esplanade, saw the skyline...and toured the nightlife of the city. My friend reminded me as I was just acting the spectator of the brokenness Jesus feels for these aimless sheep, seeking pleasures and fulfillment that the world promises, yet leaving more empty and lonely than ever.
And thus comes to the part about loneliness.
Loneliness...is such a symptom not only of Singapore (materialistic and artificial as it may seem), nor solely of urban centers, nor even in the insulated environments of college campuses. Loneliness pervades our souls, my soul-because the human heart seeks, longs, craves satisfaction through relationship. Whether to nature, to a divine being, to a member of the opposite sex, to friends, to family-we want to connect with and find fulfillment in the fact that we are not the sole living, feeling, thinking being on a wasteland of desolation and lifelessness.
I awoke with a feeling of emptiness, as if my heart were in another place. How strange and wondrous a feeling is human love! Yet I knew that the way of the world-to wallow in this emotion, to prize it above everything else that may be going on around you (so that you're seen as the romantic whose obsessive inability to connect with reality because of another is somehow construed as attractive). This way is wrong, because as a Christian my fulfillment is given by God and God alone. It is found in God alone. And thus I had to come to God to fill that void in my heart, that vacant, glazed look in my eyes.
Psalm 3:5
I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.
And God does sustain-he provides the spiritual food, the nourishing richness of His Word to abide in me, to let me encourage others despite my...condition. Truly He satisfies like none other, and in His presence I am content.
Then we went to the southernmost tip of continental Asia, beautifully built with two platforms, connected by a very islandy bridge made of hemp and chains. Ingenious design to make you feel as if you're in a tropical paradise with all the conveniences and security of modern design and materials. Ingenious. So careful with their planning. At the top was a breathtaking view of a (blue!) sky, could see green Indonesia and an expanse of azure waters, with a cool breeze and shaded view. Awesome experience.
Then we went to go shopping at a lot of malls and department stores, where I found a very good fitting (and good looking) dress shirt, and realized that I had been ripped off in Shanghai for 3 dress shirts. I wince at the thought-that the reason it can't be sold easily is because of the SLEEVE LENGTHS that I didn't check, that I didn't try on...I was utterly scammed by that lady. I need to check for sure once I go back, but I don't have high hopes.
Throughout the entire time we ate/snacked/talked our way around. Amiable companionship sprinkled with meaningful conversation and spiritual brotherhood make for a very volatile and endearing mix. Add delicious, abundant, cheap food into the mix and you've got dynamite.
We then went to JX's uncle's house, where they had a family gathering/dinner to celebrate father's day (oops). I do hope my father doesn't mind that I didn't do anything this year. Delicious home-cooked food, so much better than I could ever get anywhere in Singapore. Good time of listening and learning from the older, wiser generation and learning a lot of life lessons:
1) find your passion
2) business is about serving people, making life better for them-not $
3) business and success are not meant to be the primary priorities in life
4) our current comfort is at the expense of our fathers' and grandfathers' consumption of bitterness and hardship
Went on a tour of the Esplanade, saw the skyline...and toured the nightlife of the city. My friend reminded me as I was just acting the spectator of the brokenness Jesus feels for these aimless sheep, seeking pleasures and fulfillment that the world promises, yet leaving more empty and lonely than ever.
And thus comes to the part about loneliness.
Loneliness...is such a symptom not only of Singapore (materialistic and artificial as it may seem), nor solely of urban centers, nor even in the insulated environments of college campuses. Loneliness pervades our souls, my soul-because the human heart seeks, longs, craves satisfaction through relationship. Whether to nature, to a divine being, to a member of the opposite sex, to friends, to family-we want to connect with and find fulfillment in the fact that we are not the sole living, feeling, thinking being on a wasteland of desolation and lifelessness.
I awoke with a feeling of emptiness, as if my heart were in another place. How strange and wondrous a feeling is human love! Yet I knew that the way of the world-to wallow in this emotion, to prize it above everything else that may be going on around you (so that you're seen as the romantic whose obsessive inability to connect with reality because of another is somehow construed as attractive). This way is wrong, because as a Christian my fulfillment is given by God and God alone. It is found in God alone. And thus I had to come to God to fill that void in my heart, that vacant, glazed look in my eyes.
Psalm 3:5
I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.
And God does sustain-he provides the spiritual food, the nourishing richness of His Word to abide in me, to let me encourage others despite my...condition. Truly He satisfies like none other, and in His presence I am content.
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