Thursday, October 8, 2009

my cup overflows

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
The LORD is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.

How beautiful is God's word, how wondrously marvelous His provision! When I read this, for some reason it speaks straight to my soul. The LORD is my Shepherd...who else protects me from the voracious wolves that seek to devour me alive? Who else snatches me, torn and bleeding, from the maws of the lion? Who slays my greatest enemies-anxiety and pride-only to bring me to a place of ultimate peace and comfort? the LORD. I shall not (NEVER) be in want.
He restores my soul. He restores me. OH GOD! How beautiful is this image! I have thirsted and feel as if I were dry up to this point, broken and nonfunctional until tonight, when the Spirit of God entered me and showed me where my security was. As a freshman, I remember sharing in my small group that the only concept I have ever held firmly is: God is sovereign. I distinctly recall the surprise that passed over Josh's face. And then I (being the self-conscious freshman) immediately thought-did I say something wrong? Uh oh...
Yet these past three years have given me a new appreciation for that statement. God's sovereignty. When I was but an impressionable young soul, God had already blessed me with this immense and ponderous, sweet and glorious truth about Himself.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for You are with me; Your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

Recently God's been distant from me-ever since coming back from Peru, I have felt a distinct emptiness. Part of that's due to sin, part of that is due to pride, part of that is from disappointment. Whatever it was (and is), I have been begging and pleading with God to end this dry spell, this lack of soul restoration that has kept me in a constant state of stress. Even in that valley, that pit whose sides were deeply etched with desperation and longing, God was with me. He comforted me so that I would not falter in my ministry, He was the reason I could still show others His power. Yet inside I felt this crushing burden, this distance from God. It's a funny feeling-you KNOW that God is here, but you don't really know it. My mind and soul know that he's there, but my agonizing body does not. I desire Him more than anything else, my soul cries out for comfort-yet when I finish my prayers or devotional time I fall back into my own problems.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
My enemies, though they taunt and torment me, finally are vanquished. utterly. God Himself prepares the victory feast in front of their leery eyes. He honors me in their presence, He shows His sovereignty in the most powerful way.
My cup overflows.
I felt that tonight. I felt God finally preparing that table before me, anointing me,
and my cup-my life, my spirit, my soul-all overflow with the peace and love of God.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.