Wednesday, September 26, 2012

moving away

moved to wordpress. dispensaire.wordpress.com

Monday, April 2, 2012

midway there

At the midpoint of my peds clerkship, the fires of desperation and survival should be kicking in. the Shelf is nigh!
Yet I find myself squandering time with abandon. I flounder like a man with no direction, no insight into the murky future. My wheels spin as I only see here and now, and I become disillusioned by the present. The present is filthy, disorganized, a veritable mess. Is there a plan that I can follow to go where I want? Is there a palpable sense of urgency?
I need one. I need a plan. Yet how can I, if all I see is the present? I cannot, I know, but when does anyone have time to spend with God? if not with Him, I waste it frivolously. Like today, with distractions, with frustrations, which do not culminate in knowledge. I do not appreciate the beauty of learning - I am only here to please myself, it seems!
And when I do not have the pleasure, I am left bereft of any motivating factor. Yes, it does seem that I do not know what drives me, and am thus sans engine, sans rudder.

I must meditate on God's will and the how to bring honor to His name daily. Daily.
1. Understand and grasp knowledge (truth) to apply to my fellow man
2. Strive to be a peacemaker, not a rabble-rouser